Ta-wiiiiiins!

Nora insisted on wearing the same pjs as bridge. I feel like they are looking so old! Ah! Oh and i seashelled their hair. It was my signature style for all the little girls i babysat for back in the day (which were only a few since i babysat mostly boys!) but those girls rocked the seashell so lindsey 2.0 busted a move this evening. 

Ps- i dont know why the blog is posting pics this way! Annooooying. Whatev. Too much else to deal with than moving pics around. :) deal. (Tho i admit it bugs me)

Postponing it

I rarely miss lessons, classes, meetings etc that i commit to (and pay for) but it's thanksgiving week- and bridget was napping (thankful for that) and bean and i were hanging out coloring and i had no desire to quickly change the mood and shlep the kids to nora's swim lesson. So we didnt. We stayed. We played and cuddled instead. And though i still feel a tinge guilty- i seized the moment so here we are not running running like mad. 

My Goob

This was my morning convo with nora while making mushrooms (one of her favs- strange kid- naturally i love it) and eggs:

Me: 'i love being your mom'

Nora: 'i love being your kid'

Me: 'you're the sweetest bean. Why do you love being my kid'

Nora: 'i just love being a kid!'

I thought kids cant wait to get big!

She makes me laugh and i thank God everyday for both my kids of course, but my nora has qualities i dont and i love watching her and learning from her!

The trifecta

After playing all morning- what is the happiest sound around on the drive home? Three sleeping kiddos. And don't fret- they all successfully transferred to their respective sleeping quarters. This is what i call the bestest trifecta.

Tea Partee!

I just love pottery barn kids. Not only is their stuff like the ca-uuuuuutest in the planet- but their programs (most of them free or pretty cheap) are da bomb too.

Last weekend we had a little tea party that benefitted st. Judes. the kids dressed up, we met up with our awesome friends and had a blast! I just brought my big girl for the occasion since my little one has been a crazy napper lately. *sigh* oh bridge. But i love the one on one bonding time so it was all good. 

Santa Claus

What? Already? Yup. Yup yup. Because it's the most wonderful time of the year and i looooove the holiday season! I took the girlies after school last week to bass pro (which i totes recommend) free photo, free craft, free letter to santa and coloring pages, free carousel- my fav theme? Free! Yay!  

Family

We had family photos last weekend (or maybe the weekend before?) Well- we got the CD and I had to share. Pictures are funny things. Sometimes I look back and photos and laugh because I was dangling a lollipop in the backround to get my kids to smile, or before we went out Patrick and I got in a fight, or all I wanted to do was stay home and go to bed. When I look at photos on social media, there are times when I wonder what is real and what is fake. 

You see happy smiling couples and their kids. Incredible vacations to exotic places. Even on social media there is an element of keeping of with the Jone's. Look at my insanely cute kids. Look at how worldly I am. Look at how witty and smart and unique I am.

Look at how in love me and my husband are.

 I read a statistic that depression and time spent on social media are correlated. I am paraphrasing here- I think the stat was more involved than this- but I get it. We compare our real life to the highlight reel of facebook. Some moments are really true in the moment moments. And some are fake. Some people are living fake plastic lives covering up the facts.

  I suppose that's life. Sometimes there are seasons of incredible highs, and sometimes a feeling of doubts and confusion.

 I've been there for sure. Sometimes all in one day. One minute everything is fine, and then next I think I am about to lose my crap completely on the floor. And I consider myself a *relatively sane person. But motherhood is tough. Wifehood is tough too. Actually- being an adult is tough.

 I wish I had taken my mother's advice when she told me not to be in a hurry to grow up. Of course I was in a hurry!!! Aren't I always in a hurry? I have been in a hurry I'm pretty sure since the moment I was born. But why the rush?

 I decided I don't want to hurry through everything anymore. I have asked God to help change my heart. To slow down. To really enjoy things. To remember to make my children laugh more than make them cry.

 I am learning more about being patient with my kids, with my husband, with my life. (though admittedly the patient with the kids thing still needs some work. I mean- it should not take 4 minutes to clip the carseat clip in!) I am trying to enjoy my life for the season it is in currently and not rush to the next one for the sake of the hurry.

 I am trying not to compare myself to other people and where they are at in their journey. Because my journey is pretty incredible. And it's all mine.

 I am a work in progress. I probably always will be. But I am trying to love harder. Help better. Be more patient and accepting. Keep my heart open to what God has planned for me.

 Because through some of the worst times, have come many blessings.

So instead of asking myself why- I am starting to find the goodness in it all. Short sale on a house? Thank you God for the nudge to stay home with my kids. I have loved it. No- I have not loved every minute of it. I am real and kids are unpredictable and crazy even sometimes and sometimes make me crazy. But I love staying home with them more than I ever dreamed. 

 In fact- pretty much anything I said I would 'never' do- I have done. I have eaten more of my words in the past 4 1/2 years since I received the title "Mom" than I ever dreamed I would. I was so sure of myself.

 And now the only thing I am sure of is things will change all. the. time.

 But the greatest thing is that Jesus loves us through it all. Even when I feel like I don't deserve it. When I feel like I failed my family, when I said words to my husband I wish I hadn't. When I swore in front of my kids and then swore I wouldn't do that again and 5 minutes later another slipped out. Shit.

 Well yeah- I am a work in progress. I generally do wear my emotions on my sleeve. I have been known to answer a phone call with 'OH MY GOSH I AM IN THE WORST MOOD OF MY FREAKING ENTIRE LIFE AND MY KIDS ARE FREAKING DRIVING ME NUTS IN THE HEAD AND I AM STARVING AND---!' (there are probably a million other cuss words strewn within this sentance)

 So generally my smile isn't plastered on all fake like. Generally I am a pretty real person.

 But there have been seasons of down times and I do look back at photos and know my mood wasn't reflected the way my heart was feeling.

 That's why I think I love these photos so much. They were like 10000 percent real. I was in a great mood. We really had a blast with the photographer. I really loved my husband, like a lot a lot that day. (don't worry- I still do!) Bridget really was in a PO'ed mood but we got her cute smile to shine through during bits.

 And Nora ran the show. "Hang me upside down"

 Let's use these photo props.

 Oh everyone is looking at Bridget's grumpy bumpy face? I am going to turn ever so slightly to the camera and flash my smile. I'll pose, knock my parents on the grass and enjoy this moment. (I love this girl. Her heart is so magical. I learn so much from Nora.)

I really love my family. I love the family that I created and the family that I am a part of that continues to multiply. I love my best friendships that are more like sisterhoods than friends. I love the seasons and stages my kids and my life and my family and sisterhoods lives go through. I love that I am learning so much. I love that I can admit how wrong I was about everything. But I am trying to accept it rather than regret it- even enjoy it. Laugh at it. And take people's advice. And document the joy, the pain and the everything. Because all the moments matter. They make up this journey we are all on together. I am grateful for it all.

Hallooooooooooooooooweeeeeeeeeeeen

Introduuuuuuuuuuuuuucing...SOFIA AND CLOVER. If you are wondering who Sofia is that would be Sofia the First- just the awesomenest new Disney Junior show and Clover is her bunny best friend. So this is what my kids were. We hung with friends and ate pizza and trick-or-treated and had a grand time. I love Halloween. Hallllllllllllllllllll laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa weeeen. 

School Halloween parade!!

Nora and her friend Ashlyn. 

Nora-Sofia and her BF Clover. 

The Trick-or-Treat crew.

Clover- Amber- sofia! The bestest of friends!

Happy Halloween from the mamas!!!

Starting the festivities. 

Clover and her dino BF Shmay- AKA Payton Mary. 

Shhh-caaa-gooo

Chicago.

We visited. Chunk of P was there for 3 weeks- so the girls and I went to visit for the weekend rather than he come home. We wanted to see some friends and fam and do some Chicago things (AKA go to the American Girl Store- so cultured of us) Hang with the Bampa Bampa (my Grandma and Grandpa), Lucia, Ryan and the boys- and baby Lucy and Lindsay! yay to babies!

Chillin' with Bampa

Asleep on Bampa.

Impromptu trick-or-treating parade in my super fav town- Oak Park! No costumes for my usual princesses? No problem! Spider girl and Bat girl here they come.

Chicago Pizza and Over Grinders for lunch- favy Chicago place.

Bean entering American Girl. (Bridget had fallen asleep on the ride there)

Kit got a new outfit.

Daddy, Daughters and Dolls. 

The girls and their dollies outfitted to perfection.

Baby Lucy!

The Lindsaey's and our babers!

Uncle Bruce's Mr. Rogers neighborhood! Fun times chatting with Bruce.

So glad we went and hung out with some of our fav people in all the land.