The ocean

I have to go to the ocean at least once a year. I need to see it. I need to hear it. I need to feel it. Throughout my life when I have been by the ocean, I have had moments of clarity on issues i have been struggling with. In high school- Some have been as silly as 'do I even like that boy?' To my adult struggles- 'should we have a third child?'

I'm here now in transition back to Chicago. This trip was planned back in October- months before moving back to Chicago was even on the table. The timing worked out this way- and I know that is how God wanted it to work. He knows the ocean helps me stop and pause about whatever is on my mind. My go go go attitude takes a seat for a moment and my mind becomes quiet. Though over the last few years I have worked at quieting my life a little and do think what I do today looks differently than what I would do in the past. 

However- straying from the topic at hand since my brain definitely still does that- gah! Anyway- God knows what's best. I'm just going with the flow with this one. I feel like it will all be ok. Moving is rough and painful- especially with kids. I know there will be times when I just want to in back to everything I know- everyone I know and everyone my kids know. But I know I can't do that. So I have to move forward. I have to let go of what-ifs.  And let go of thoughts like - did we make the right decision, should we have stayed through the end of the school year... And just trust we are making the right decisions. 

So often we judge other people because we disagree with how they have handled a situation in their lives. But really we have no idea all the internal thoughts and struggles they had regarding their situation. I've been heavily judged this year- I have been having a tough year- and somehow I have gotten through it. Or I'm still making my way through it. I have seen the ugliness of people and also the amazing good. It's weird how something like breaking your foot can lead to so much clarity. I really have some amazing family and friends in my life. Somehow I found my way back to the ocean and found some peace and relaxation. Somehow I am learning I don't care who is judging me I just care about doing the right things and being the best person I can be.